You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
