hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
