READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
