The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
The ass gains better be worth it
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