no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
We need a shit load of segways right now
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize