why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
