just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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