Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
