If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
