He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
