the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
