I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize