Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
