were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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