I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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