You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
