Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
