dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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