you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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