On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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