Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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