it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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