If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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