Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
But theres a keg here and me gusta
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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