just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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