Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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