There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I think i got beer on your cat.
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