I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
i out mim tonsoeep
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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