I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
