I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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