Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
