dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize