it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
