Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
i will never coherently bang her
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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