I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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