I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
