Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
