I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
