Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
my liver is dry heaving
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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