i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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