She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
