Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
is that a dick in a sweater?
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