Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
