i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize