yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize