I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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