I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize