You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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