My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Come on in and take your pants off
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