i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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