I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
