I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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