but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
