Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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