He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
