i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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