That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize