i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
