There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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