there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
