About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
two words: eviction party
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
