D3 body, D1 cock
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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