It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize